I'm really sorry...
its been a long long since i updated..and i doubt anyone dropped by..there was no one tagging my board so..i assume..prove me wrong then if you visited..
"I am very very sad."
That phrase was said by me to so many people and so many times that i wasnt able to count it.
I was looking forward to band on monday..happily after A.maths test rushed for band..and realised they were having sectionals..something unusual..
While setting up my instrument..i was wondering..when is Mr Sim coming..because i seriously hate having sectionals on monday..and after such a tiring day..
Then the worst part was..at 4++ while i amstill wondering if Mr Sim is having a big break or has he forgotten today is monday because he takes full band on mondays..and hardly so late..then Miss Tan announced that he has left the band when minutes ago i was still wondering where the hell is Mr Sim.
After Miss Tan finished her 1st sentence..i can tell you that i almost cried..almost. I wasnt fighting back my tears tho..i just felt that at that moment..it was so disppointing but its good that he is leaving because since he hates the clarinet section so much i hate him as well and so nothing to be sad about..so no tears came out..
But in the end..i am just decieving myself. I knew that its the band's lost that he is leaving. HE was the one that led us to the 1st competition if i am not wrong, and then to the second one. He helped the band to take the 1st step into achieving something. He made the difference in the band.
So many a times..we were told not to take things for granted..but we cant be bothered..and this really made me realise what that simple phrase means in reality..
He taught us so many things..he made so much difference in us..he found hope in the band..he gave the band a hand in achieving what was so called impossible..
He tolerated our nonsense...he tolerated us in so many ways..
every now and then we are restless during band, he trued his very best to crack lame jokes which most of the time is unsuccessful..but at least he tried.
He did so many things for the band..and so is it the time now to do something back for him?
i suppose so. To get the gold medal. isnt it?
I just cant accept the fact that the next time i come for band..and the one standing in front is not him anymore..and having to greet a totally different human..and getting use to his conductiong methods..
I just cant accept the fact and refuse to as well..
Seriously..if Mr Sim truly loved the band which i dont think is the case he wouldnt have left the band now..when the competition is in 2 months time and we are not fully prepared.
He treats us like a piece of shit! He just throw us at a corner as and when he likes it..and what now? We are now begging for someone to pick us up? This is total crap..if the band doesnt get the gold he is partially in the wrong as well. Afterall..he left the band..so i doubt he even cares if the band has got the gold.
Yes, he have to go for some conducting thingy..but if i am not wrong its in august!!!
Of all the other schools he is teaching..he decided to give our up..what a wise decision i must say. Are we that bad?
Some people told me that..he couldnt stand us anymore. Our conduct..and our playing skills..if that is the case..then he is in the wrong as well..it's his reponsibility to change us and not because we are getting out of control and dump us there..
I make sure he gets haunted and regrets leaving the band!!
The IJ BAnd is not as bad as he thinks!!
If the band is bad..HE IS A HUNDRED TIMES WORSE!
I just cant stand it. I am really really sad and angry..
He hates the clarinet section so much..and yet most of the clarinetist feels sad. He is indeed bias..but people still feel sad, disappointed and angry that he left..although he is lame..but people still misses him and the jokes that he use to crack..although he isonly known to the band but others thatare not in the band feels the sadness within the band.
Don't you feel it?
He hates our section like hell..insults our section a week before concert..saying we are going to be the destroyers of the concert..but still people does not hate him for that.
People hated him for he left the band.
Actually..its the band that dont deserve him..he is indeed a very good conductor. Don't you agree? My FAther do..and so does my sister..she says he posesses a x-factor..which means that you can feel that he is unique and special by the way he dress, talks and conducts.
Others agree as well..
He belongs to a gold medal band and not us..its no wonder he left us as well..maybe we were just too lousy for him..but isnt his job making us a better band and get a gold which he is suppose to belong to, a gold medal band?
I don't really know what to say...
It's all inside me,,its something no words could explain and no matter how many ears you have told to..you will never be able to get the feeling out. Its too sad. I feel like i can tell the whole world about it and make them depressed.
Its as if the sadness is so intense. Maybe to me it is a very big blow or maybe its something small..but i just cant accept it.
Maybe its because i took it for granted..i think i seriously did..i always thought he would be there the next practice..and i always that even if he were to leave that would be the day he retire..and he will never leave the band..for i thought he had hopes in the band. But who knows..i was just living in my own world..
For the past few weeks i have been having dreams..of nothing but the band. It's freaky but its ture and it haunts me whenever i think about it.
I knew something bad was going to happen..i thought something bad was going to happen to me..i thought i was going to be punished or i have to change my instrument or i have been kicked out of band..but nothing happened to me but to the band.
i knew something was wrong..a long time ago.
I am indeed very sad..
1 to 5. 5being very sad..1 being very happy..
my answer would be 5. and it will be till i dont know when...
I dont know how i am going to open my mouth and greet the future conductor of the band.
I have only been in the band for 2 years..i have gone thru 2 concerts and many performances with mr sim..i find him a truly amazing person. it is something i dont think i can deny neither can you.
I never in my life met someone who could play almost all the instruments in the band until i came to know about him...
I am really sad..and its chinese new year..but no matter how many hongs baos irecieve today..nothing can change my mood nor the situation..
Gettiong over it is so difficult..i just cant cry it out cos its not worth crying about but feeling sad is not worth it too..bu i just cant get it out!!!
I AM FRUSTRATED!! I NEED SOME EXPLANATIONS!!
GET THIS DAMN THING OFF MY HEAD!!!
I AM VERY SAD!!! does anyone undertsand?
i need a brain wash...
i wish i was one human with no emotions..no feelings just like a robot, things would be much easier.
There are also seeral things happening in the band among my section..maybe some of you are unaware..but i cant get along with the SL. I dont know if i am making things difficult for you or you are the ine making it difficult for me.
You do things according to your ways and never asked me about it..yes i am no biggie i am just the ASl which just plainly stands for ASSIGNED.STUPID.LOSER isnt it? Carrying chairs for you, carrying stands for you, carrying this carrying that..
Let me tell you this. Sometimes you make my time so difficult that i feel like hacking off your head..and smashing it! You are totally bias and blind, inconsiderate and hell gosh you think you know everything! Worst of all you think you are the best player in the whole damn section which is wrong!!! thats because there is someone better then you. YOU ARE SO BIAS. YOU ONLY CARE FOR JUNIORS WHO ARE PRETTY, BUBBLY AND WHO CAN PLAY WELL..
Dont deny you ass..its so obvious..everyone knows and others are not blind like you, they can see and the have feelings!!
YOU BLOODY BLIND FOOL.
BE WARNED.
I WILL SO GOD DAMN SMASH YOU HEAD.
who are you to stop me?
Anyways..i know you hate me too. Its no secret. Dont ever think that i will be a nice angel forever because the disguise will soon fall off.